In other words, if you can’t afford a yacht you shouldn’t be living near the water.

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Surely giving aid to flood victims only encourages them to live on low-lying land and makes them dependent on those higher up?

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Teaching guitar again for the first time this year. Which is nice.

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Next stop: The Arse End of Civilisation. This bus terminates here. All passengers please change.

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Ticket inspectors on the bus. They know the price of everything. Just doing their jobs.

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@ManUtd Let’s hope we can make it difficult for Fulham on Sunday, eh?

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finished The Shock of the Fall by Nathan Filer. excellent read. amzn.to/KuC7wx

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@rpcutts Buy a torch.

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Cracking strike by Bob Crowe. Acas had no chance of stopping it after it took a massive deflection off Boris Johnson’s ego.

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Got to Paddington, Bakerloo closed, but Ham and City, Metropolitan lines OK.

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I am just going outside and may be some time.

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@hexenhr1 Winning is overrated, imho. It’s the taking part that counts, surely?

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@nourishedcloud Cat pictures, Freedom, #paleo, the weather, where to find the best (unsalted) nuts…

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The cat fell off the chair.

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@hexenhr1 What is it you’ve got against bespectacled Scottish folksinging twins?

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@hexenhr1 @mo6020 It was a toss up between Adam and Fellaini.

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@mo6020 @hexenhr1 Fairy nough, but nevertheless an impressive goalscoring record this season relative to United’s own toss.

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@mo6020 I wanted United to sign Adams to replace Scholes, but @hexenhr1 said no.

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@ultraturquoise You never know when the Queen will pop round for a cuppa…

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Cold-wet-day-in-Stoke-fail.

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My sources tell me that United will acquire Neymar today in a swap deal, with Wayne Rooney going to live with Neymar’s parents.

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@nourishedcloud waves

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There’s no doubt in my mind that I could have eaten another slice of toast, but, to be honest, three was enough.

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Hoping not to be outwitted by Sam Allardyce today.

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@departmentofdwp Not sure if this is #satire or not. pressgazette.co.uk/former-sun-man… - Could you advise? @DWPgovuk #Confused

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