@hexenhr1 Cheers, mate. Just hope Billy Bragg doesn’t hear it or the commie bastard’ll be demanding royalty payments.

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Every time we go down to ten men, There’s no way we’ll win the World Cup, Unless we play like a new Ingerland. soundcloud.com/dmarsd/a-new-i…

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Wife: Are there lots of bananas in Ecuador?

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Wife impressed with Rooney’s hair and Foster’s purple suit. Less so with Jones’s white trainers.

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@simsa0 I think I’ve been in a similar place before with job ending bullshit. More of a relief than anything when it’s over.

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@simsa0 Shit. Sorry to hear that.

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Wife: Who’s that? Me: Jacob Rees-Mogg. Wife: Why does he talk like that? Me: He’s upper class. In unison: What a knobhead!

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There’s no way we’ll win the World Cup, Unless we play like a new Ingerland, And win at penalties. soundcloud.com/dmarsd/a-new-i…

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@rpcutts With a bit of luck, no one will ever know :-)

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‘Ukip is a Ship of Fools, skippered by an arsehole and crewed by chancers and oddballs…’ jacothenorth.net/blog/nathan-gi… (via @WillBlackWriter)

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@Luke1972 I feel the same way about cow slurry: bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan…

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@mo6020 @hexenhr1 Tool.

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@hexenhr1 Perhaps you could do the same when she starts reading out the Daily Mail Online? #MarriageGuidance

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@hexenhr1 Yeah, people were a lot dirtier in the good old days.

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Juan King about to ejaculate. Or so I heard.

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@hexenhr1 Same here, mate. And it’s only going to get worse. #itonlygetsworse

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@ultraturquoise Me neither.

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@moggers87 Now it tastes like coffee.

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@rpcutts You should see a doctor about that.

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@rpcutts Almost.

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Bloody foreigners coming over here and scoring our goals!

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@Jasonc96 Exactly. Then went missing, like his hair.

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Also: Have you seen Rooney’s hair?!

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Cutting match analysis so far. Wife: Is Rooney playing?

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Watching England with the missus. Wife: Who’s that boy with the beard? Me: Adam Lallana. Wife: Never heard of him. Is he Welsh?

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