Rooney happy to be England’s new physio: theguardian.com/football/blog/…

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Congratulations to the USA on winning the World Cup last night.

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This game has 0-0 written all over it.

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@hexenhr1 No, although I think that’s still his best position. Can’t drop Sturridge, now, though.

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A thoroughly undeserved hattrick.

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@marxistvegan I suspect they may have bankrolled the entire tournament.

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@Luke1972 You’ve seen the pink sludge they make ‘em with?

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I fear for @rpcutts’s sanity and blood pressure if he’s watching this game and professional punditry.

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Anti-Schadenfreude.

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@hexenhr1 To be fair to Moyes, didn’t he also say Rooney would make a useful (if expensive) back-up to RvP?

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@hexenhr1 Yes, but I mean for United. Although would be nice to see Kagawa or Mata get that role.

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@Luke1972 Or McDonald’s.

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@hexenhr1 Yeah. Maybe if England get to the final.

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@hexenhr1 Could Rooney play Sneijder’s role?

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What a miss!

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@Luke1972 A worthy cause. That pleural effusion gets everywhere. Well played.

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@hexenhr1 I was thinking we should do a World Cup Special…

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@hexenhr1 Progressive substitution. Risotto is much more creative.

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@AaronBastani I think they used to teach this in schools.

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@mo6020 Never too early for crack.

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Mike Phelan in long trousers.

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@mo6020 A superb example of how technology - while seeming to offer improvements and solutions - just ends up fucking up people’s lives.

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This side-netting is really getting in the way.

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Aha! That explains why I thought Sterling had scored last night. Goal!

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Oh dear. De Gea has injured his buttocks in training. That must be a pain in the arse.

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